[ So much regarding his relationship with John, Bobby has buried deep within him. The way he can't look at the other for too long whenever he's close. The way he'd laugh for minutes on end whenever John will crack a particularly sarcastic but funny quip. Maybe when he buried so much of the unwanted shame of what ifs and perhaps, it manifested to him reprimanding John for acting out, or scolding him when he's trying to show off in that food court. He tried so hard to quell this confusion of actually wanting John Allerdyce, why this goddamn asshole in the first place, that he has unconsciously built an ice wall even before he left, even before he stepped off that jet all those years ago.
Bobby only barely realized to thaw it when he can't bear to hurt him when John did. Resentment and desire are funny things when mixed together and suppressed. So, here he is, a hand on the couch's armrest to steady himself as he returns John's kiss, crashing lips and realizations.
When he pulls away, Bobby doesn't completely, blue eyes searching John's face for an answer why he did what he did. Why they're dancing around each other like a performance on a stage. ]
[ breath warm on his lips when that kiss falls apart, he stares to bobby there so close to him — sees the way he searches his face and, in that silence, he stares back to him with those blue-gray eyes of his. it's only after a moment — only after he licks over those lips of his again that he finally says something. ]
That kinda hurt... [ a beat. ] ...my lip, I mean.
[ you know. his busted lip, but. as if that stopped him. ]
[ The apology is immediate as Bobby shifts to lean back a little so he can place his icy thumb again on John's lip. The cold isn't as sharp as earlier since he has already adjusted the temperature for the other mutant. ]
Feeling better? [ A lopsided smile on his face, Bobby massages John's skin with his thumbs, trying to coax the pain out of the other. ]
[ with the icy thumb back on his lip, john can't help but raise a brow to the other mutant there and, as a sort of means to lighten the mood and all that, he can't help but ask. ]
Are you trying to get me to suck your thumb? Is this a thing for you?
[ Bobby almost chokes on his own spit at John's question as he tries hard not to shift whilst applying ample pressure on his injuries. Because John calls him out and sheds a spotlight on his thumb, he continues to caress his busted lip. ]
No, of course not. [ Chuckles a little, then a teasing smile because two could play this teasing game. ] Why? Would you suck it?
[ Bobby replies with another chuckle. Nodding at John's question, though, he lets go of him and turns both his hands back into his regular flesh and blood. He searches the first aid kit, then hands some painkillers over at the other mutant. ]
Here, these should be enough. [ He hands him like 10 tablets. ] I'm sure Ororo won't mind if they go missing.
[ he doesn't go and say anything to that, just stares to the other mutant before he gives a lick over his lips and grabs his shirt off the couch once the glass is set aside. taking a moment, he slowly goes through the chore of pulling it back on. ]
Wanting to keep an eye on me. Make sure I don't pass out and never wake up again?
[ even as he says that, he slowly gets himself up. looks around. you know, expecting bobby to show him where these rooms are since it's not like he's familiar with the place. ]
[ Bobby stands up, too, and proceeds to show John the room, noting how the other mutant must be expecting him to. With a nod, he leads him to one that obviously hasn't been used with clean sheets and pillows. ]
Something like that. You said it yourself, I worry a lot and I wanna make sure you get some rest.
john follows along though. keeps relatively close but not too close. steps and movements slow because, even if he doesn't want to admit it, he's tired and his body aches from everything. coming up alongside him then, he stands there. stares to the bed and the room itself. ]
Gonna sit on the bed and make sure I fall asleep ok?
[ His response is swift and comes with a smile as he beckons John to get on the bed. He looks around, makes sure the room isn't dusty or anything of the sort, before his smile turns a bit playful. ]
Unless you want me to hold you in my arms and all that sappy stuff you don't want. [ Only teasing? Maybe. ]
making his way over to the bed, movements remain slow as he eases himself down onto the bed and just sits there for a moment. tired. lets a breath leave him before he's just pinching the bridge of his nose. eyes closed. just... sitting. ]
[ Bobby acknowledges the fondness and gives the other a fond smile of his own. As he watches John sit on the bed, he fully expects him to lay down that he's surprised he doesn't.
Sitting beside him, he wraps an arm around his shoulder, concern palpable on his features and in his voice. ]
[ bobby goes and wraps an arm around him and john just... sits there. hand dropping away from his face, falling to his lap. for a moment, he's quiet. contemplative. as if mulling over whether or not to say something. lips parting then, he stops. goes again. ]
You remember... at your shitty apartment in the Down? When I told you about that guy?
[ licking over his lips, he looks to bobby then. ]
[ He replies, gaze drawn to the bed side ornament, not surprised John will bring this up, especially after Bobby noticed the network post this Alec person did. The hand around John's shoulder loosens his grip a little, knowing where this conversation is headed. He retains his smile, though. ]
How do you feel about it? Did you guys already meet? Does he remember his time here?
[ Does he remember you? is the correct question, but he doesn't pursue it. Must be some reunion, he thinks. He's happy for John, especially looking back at how he talked about the guy. ]
[ his time here, both times. them. it has john let out a breath, has him lick over his lips and stare ahead as he mulls over what to say. what he's feeling. ]
He was... a lot of my firsts. [ he's sure he's told bobby that before, but still feels the need to reiterate that. ] I just keep feeling like he's going to disappear. Again. For a third time.
[ swallowing, that's when he looks over to bobby. ]
I don't know if I can handle that again, you know?
[ The other's name leaves Bobby's lips as a soft, gentle murmur, brows creasing in concern at what John's telling him right now. He holds his gaze, there, with an understanding yet soft one of his own, his grip now tightening a little and squeezing in reassurance. ]
I understand why you'd feel that way. [ And he's obviously an important person to him. ] But - [ Offers a gentle, wider smile. ] The important thing is he's here now. If it ever comes to that, I'll be here for you through everything. [ He'll make sure of it. ]
[ the sound that leaves him is a soft one. bitter, but soft. ]
You don't want to see me like that.
[ shake of his head, he lets his gaze drift away from the other. stares across the room. ]
When I say I was a fucking mess, I mean I was a fucking mess. A lot meaner than I usually can be, too. I did a lot of shit— burned a lot of shit. I hated everything and everyone. But mostly myself. For letting myself feel anything for anyone here.
[ a lot of it now feels like a blur to him with how long it's been, but. he still remembers. here and there. ]
I'm trying to be better, you know? But it's fucking hard sometimes.
[ Brows furrowing, Bobby offers a sympathetic expression towards John, pulling him just a bit closer to give him a little more comfort. He can just imagine how broken John was during those times, and even then, he wanted to be there for him. Wanted to be here for him now no matter what that entails, what he sees because of it. ]
I know. [ It's soft but reassuring. ] What's important is you're trying and that's good enough no matter what happens. We all falter from time to time, that's just life, but what we do when we do is how we learn.
[ It's a tall order to expect John to change quick. Or to change at all. So he doesn't expect him to, doesn't hold him to any standard. Bobby's satisfied he's John who's trying to be better. ]
Because trying is already good enough. [ He nudges him, a softer smile. ] You're good enough.
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Bobby only barely realized to thaw it when he can't bear to hurt him when John did. Resentment and desire are funny things when mixed together and suppressed. So, here he is, a hand on the couch's armrest to steady himself as he returns John's kiss, crashing lips and realizations.
When he pulls away, Bobby doesn't completely, blue eyes searching John's face for an answer why he did what he did. Why they're dancing around each other like a performance on a stage. ]
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That kinda hurt... [ a beat. ] ...my lip, I mean.
[ you know. his busted lip, but. as if that stopped him. ]
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[ The apology is immediate as Bobby shifts to lean back a little so he can place his icy thumb again on John's lip. The cold isn't as sharp as earlier since he has already adjusted the temperature for the other mutant. ]
Feeling better? [ A lopsided smile on his face, Bobby massages John's skin with his thumbs, trying to coax the pain out of the other. ]
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Are you trying to get me to suck your thumb? Is this a thing for you?
[ teasing? just a little. ]
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No, of course not. [ Chuckles a little, then a teasing smile because two could play this teasing game. ] Why? Would you suck it?
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[ said so cheekily as he grins a little there to the other mutant. ]
You got any painkillers by any chance?
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[ Bobby replies with another chuckle. Nodding at John's question, though, he lets go of him and turns both his hands back into his regular flesh and blood. He searches the first aid kit, then hands some painkillers over at the other mutant. ]
Here, these should be enough. [ He hands him like 10 tablets. ] I'm sure Ororo won't mind if they go missing.
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taking the pills in hand, he sits up a little better and eyes the other mutant. brow raised. ]
Got something to wash it down with?
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You should rest here for a bit. I'll be alone for the next few hours, don't worry.
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Rest where exactly?
[ asking that, he knocks back a few of the painkillers in his palm and chases them down with a swig of the water he'd been given. ]
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There are extra rooms here you can rest in for a bit. Or just lounge here on the couch. [ You know, next to him. ]
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Trying to get me into bed, huh?
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I'm trying to get you into bed so you can rest. Don't worry, I'm not gonna join you if you don't want me to.
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Wanting to keep an eye on me. Make sure I don't pass out and never wake up again?
[ even as he says that, he slowly gets himself up. looks around. you know, expecting bobby to show him where these rooms are since it's not like he's familiar with the place. ]
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Something like that. You said it yourself, I worry a lot and I wanna make sure you get some rest.
[ Still concerned about your injuries, bestie. ]
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john follows along though. keeps relatively close but not too close. steps and movements slow because, even if he doesn't want to admit it, he's tired and his body aches from everything. coming up alongside him then, he stands there. stares to the bed and the room itself. ]
Gonna sit on the bed and make sure I fall asleep ok?
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[ His response is swift and comes with a smile as he beckons John to get on the bed. He looks around, makes sure the room isn't dusty or anything of the sort, before his smile turns a bit playful. ]
Unless you want me to hold you in my arms and all that sappy stuff you don't want. [ Only teasing? Maybe. ]
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[ a beat. ]
Nerd.
[ it's said fondly though.
making his way over to the bed, movements remain slow as he eases himself down onto the bed and just sits there for a moment. tired. lets a breath leave him before he's just pinching the bridge of his nose. eyes closed. just... sitting. ]
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Sitting beside him, he wraps an arm around his shoulder, concern palpable on his features and in his voice. ]
Hey, you okay?
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You remember... at your shitty apartment in the Down? When I told you about that guy?
[ licking over his lips, he looks to bobby then. ]
He came back. Again.
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[ He replies, gaze drawn to the bed side ornament, not surprised John will bring this up, especially after Bobby noticed the network post this Alec person did. The hand around John's shoulder loosens his grip a little, knowing where this conversation is headed. He retains his smile, though. ]
How do you feel about it? Did you guys already meet? Does he remember his time here?
[ Does he remember you? is the correct question, but he doesn't pursue it. Must be some reunion, he thinks. He's happy for John, especially looking back at how he talked about the guy. ]
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[ his time here, both times. them. it has john let out a breath, has him lick over his lips and stare ahead as he mulls over what to say. what he's feeling. ]
He was... a lot of my firsts. [ he's sure he's told bobby that before, but still feels the need to reiterate that. ] I just keep feeling like he's going to disappear. Again. For a third time.
[ swallowing, that's when he looks over to bobby. ]
I don't know if I can handle that again, you know?
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[ The other's name leaves Bobby's lips as a soft, gentle murmur, brows creasing in concern at what John's telling him right now. He holds his gaze, there, with an understanding yet soft one of his own, his grip now tightening a little and squeezing in reassurance. ]
I understand why you'd feel that way. [ And he's obviously an important person to him. ] But - [ Offers a gentle, wider smile. ] The important thing is he's here now. If it ever comes to that, I'll be here for you through everything. [ He'll make sure of it. ]
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You don't want to see me like that.
[ shake of his head, he lets his gaze drift away from the other. stares across the room. ]
When I say I was a fucking mess, I mean I was a fucking mess. A lot meaner than I usually can be, too. I did a lot of shit— burned a lot of shit. I hated everything and everyone. But mostly myself. For letting myself feel anything for anyone here.
[ a lot of it now feels like a blur to him with how long it's been, but. he still remembers. here and there. ]
I'm trying to be better, you know? But it's fucking hard sometimes.
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I know. [ It's soft but reassuring. ] What's important is you're trying and that's good enough no matter what happens. We all falter from time to time, that's just life, but what we do when we do is how we learn.
[ It's a tall order to expect John to change quick. Or to change at all. So he doesn't expect him to, doesn't hold him to any standard. Bobby's satisfied he's John who's trying to be better. ]
Because trying is already good enough. [ He nudges him, a softer smile. ] You're good enough.
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