[ bobby embraces him from behind and, while not shocked and confused this time about such a thing, like before, he doesn't move. just stands there. staring past his reflection to the outside down around the apartments. ]
I've done a lot of shit here. To a lot of people, too. I hade Nate magically split me in two one time to try and make myself stop feeling the way I do when I get in moods. When I want to just burn everything and everyone around me and don't give a shit about what happens after.
[ like when they'd faced off against each other on alcatraz. ]
The splitting me in two thing wasn't supposed to happen, but. Point is, I do a lot of reckless and impulsive shit when I get that way. I leave people and don't ever look back when I do.
[ like on the jet, when he'd walked away from both bobby and rogue who had wanted him to stay. ]
Except I always look back, eventually, and it's not that I regret what I've done all the time. It's more that sometimes I wish it could have gone differently.
[ Bobby holds him and lets him speak his heart, his eyes wandering on their reflection then also down to the other side. He almost winces when John told him about Nate splitting him into two. He doesn't want to imagine the pain he must've felt to even consider such a reckless move, but he knows it stings him too, in a way. Could he have stopped John during that time? Definitely not, but he wants to be there for him, at least.
John is many things, and Bobby knows this, has accepted all this. He's impulsive and his mood shifts a lot, but Bobby never sought to change him, because John's flaws make him who he is.
When Bobby speaks again, his voice never strayed from the mild, calm tone he had earlier. ]
We can't change what happened. [ Alec, splitting into two, burning everything, leaving the jet, Alcatraz. ] But we can change how we go from here.
[ Small words, he thinks, but hopes they're enough. John doesn't like the sappy, nerdy, weird things he says so he keeps it succint and genuine. His thumb softly caresses his shoulder to somehow add more reassurance. ]
[ can they? he doesn't know. granted, it's been a number of years since he, personally, has seen bobby and, therefore, the sting and anger he'd carried with him prior to his leaving the x-men and everything that happened on alcatraz has softened some, but. john is still john. still a raging fire when angered or wronged and still prone to recklessly impulsive decisions he doesn't always think through. sure, they may be having a moment right now, but it won't last. learning how to weather john's drop of a hat mood swings is something only very few can handle, he's learned.
but those that can are still here, surprisingly.
he turns then. looking to bobby, back somewhat pressed against the glass of the window. stares to him in silence for a long moment, as if trying to recall all their time spent together at the school before everything happened. was that really him or just a means to try and fit in around the school? sometimes it's hard for him to tell and he's spent a number of years here trying to figure that out — soften his anger. ]
You know I'm just gonna hurt you, right?
[ a warning he gives to him while he's in a moment of self-awareness. ]
[ Bobby searches John's eyes when the other turns around to face him. He's also lost in that sea of memories from all those years ago and he briefly wonders if they're ever going to return to them. Most likely not, so Bobby stands his ground, and means what he said. The past can't be changed anymore, both the ugly and the good, so what they do from now on is what's more important.
Reaching out his hand again, he places it on John's arm as a gesture of comfort but also assurance. He smiles, just a little, lips curving up a bit. ]
Not any more than you already have. [ Wider smile this time. ] So yeah, I know. Signed up for it since day one. [ Even if he didn't know back then. ]
[ for now is on the tip of his tongue, but. he refrains from letting it slip. instead, he brings his own hand up, presses it there firmly against bobby's shoulder and... leans in. real close. noses just barely touching... before he shoves him aside and makes his way over to the bed to which he drops himself down onto it. sprawling out. arms tucking behind his head. ]
[ The moment John leans in very close like that, Bobby's cheeks turn red despite himself. His blue eyes widen a tad and for a second he doesn't know what to do. He visibly gulps, breath hitching a little, then John shoves him away and he's gone and Bobby just stands there for a while because what the hell just happened.
Clears his throat and watches John get comfortable on his bed. ]
Yeah, uh. Hard to sleep on sometimes. [ Actually most times but he's still a bit taken aback by what happened. He eventually walks to his bed, though, and sits. ] At least you're making yourself comfortable.
[ He catches John's eye when he says that and gives him a soft smile to reassure him, even if the whole conversation of contracts doesn't sit well with him still. ]
Just haven't met someone I trust who's gonna take me in. [ He knows more Submissives, actually. ]
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no subject
I've done a lot of shit here. To a lot of people, too. I hade Nate magically split me in two one time to try and make myself stop feeling the way I do when I get in moods. When I want to just burn everything and everyone around me and don't give a shit about what happens after.
[ like when they'd faced off against each other on alcatraz. ]
The splitting me in two thing wasn't supposed to happen, but. Point is, I do a lot of reckless and impulsive shit when I get that way. I leave people and don't ever look back when I do.
[ like on the jet, when he'd walked away from both bobby and rogue who had wanted him to stay. ]
Except I always look back, eventually, and it's not that I regret what I've done all the time. It's more that sometimes I wish it could have gone differently.
no subject
John is many things, and Bobby knows this, has accepted all this. He's impulsive and his mood shifts a lot, but Bobby never sought to change him, because John's flaws make him who he is.
When Bobby speaks again, his voice never strayed from the mild, calm tone he had earlier. ]
We can't change what happened. [ Alec, splitting into two, burning everything, leaving the jet, Alcatraz. ] But we can change how we go from here.
[ Small words, he thinks, but hopes they're enough. John doesn't like the sappy, nerdy, weird things he says so he keeps it succint and genuine. His thumb softly caresses his shoulder to somehow add more reassurance. ]
no subject
but those that can are still here, surprisingly.
he turns then. looking to bobby, back somewhat pressed against the glass of the window. stares to him in silence for a long moment, as if trying to recall all their time spent together at the school before everything happened. was that really him or just a means to try and fit in around the school? sometimes it's hard for him to tell and he's spent a number of years here trying to figure that out — soften his anger. ]
You know I'm just gonna hurt you, right?
[ a warning he gives to him while he's in a moment of self-awareness. ]
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Reaching out his hand again, he places it on John's arm as a gesture of comfort but also assurance. He smiles, just a little, lips curving up a bit. ]
Not any more than you already have. [ Wider smile this time. ] So yeah, I know. Signed up for it since day one. [ Even if he didn't know back then. ]
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I don't know if you're dumb or stupid.
[ but, even as he says such a thing, it's not with malice or disdain. it's more flat... and teasing. ]
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Maybe both? You're welcome to tease me about it all you want, but I'm here.
[ Even if you hurt him or try to kill him again. Rigid just like the power he wields. ]
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These beds are still like they always are. Shit.
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Clears his throat and watches John get comfortable on his bed. ]
Yeah, uh. Hard to sleep on sometimes. [ Actually most times but he's still a bit taken aback by what happened. He eventually walks to his bed, though, and sits. ] At least you're making yourself comfortable.
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[ he raises a brow some as he looks to bobby there joining him on the bed. ]
The ones I had were never around. Or just barely. Got contracted and left this dump. I preferred it that way. Gave me the room all to myself.
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[ Looks around their shared apartment. Prompto's also barely around. ]
But like yours, he's barely around and I know his best friend's here and a Dominant, so he's gonna get contracted soon.
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[ something john always liked and preferred when he was living in these. ]
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[ Bobby sighs and lays down next to John, his eyes trained on their unkempt ceiling. ]
Kinda jealous, though, you know? That he's finally out of here.
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[ he glances over to bobby there beside him as he says that. ]
Just don't take forever.
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[ He catches John's eye when he says that and gives him a soft smile to reassure him, even if the whole conversation of contracts doesn't sit well with him still. ]
Just haven't met someone I trust who's gonna take me in. [ He knows more Submissives, actually. ]